A Body is Not a Destination
READY OR NOT.
One minute: walking 40 yards.
Two minutes: putting on socks & shoes.
Three minutes: putting pants over my e-stim devices, balancing, and buttoning.
Four minutes: putting on and zipping a jacket, hat, and gloves.
Five minutes: putting on a bra - sitting, hooking in front, (trying to do this repeatedly, often settling for one, but not both hooks) twisting to position. Shirt on while holding something for balance.
Six minutes: getting from my car in a handicapped spot, grabbing my walker from the back seat, holding the car for balance, walking to most any place I go now. Not many, at the moment.
Ten minutes: changing my earrings. Which is why I don’t, mostly.
Twenty minutes: washing my hair. Holding onto the railings and the walls. Lathering with one hand at a time.
All of the rest of my time: getting accustomed to living more efficiently, limiting my output, nesting. Staying in. Getting good at asking for accommodation. Enjoying friends who think about space before I ask them to.
Mine is a body with more experience with multiple sclerosis than anything else.
Early on, from age 15-24 or so, I lived as though I didn’t have a chronic illness. I avoided it. Was complimented on “looking so good,” despite my diagnosis. I treated 13 flares in high school. One more in grad school. Then things got quiet. Fast forward to a change in a disease state, I can’t avoid my reality. My skin burns and tingles in patches, randomly. I can’t move the way I do in my dreams. Some days are better than others.
This body is not what I expected. But it is still in process.
This body is not a destination.
And this body gives me the gift of doing work that I love. My destination of choice. Where I sit and connect to other humans and my disease, my disability, is rarely part of a session. My brain, however demyelinated, is still great at nutrition counseling. I ask clients for physical assistance; open a bottle, a bag, a door. Because my body is not why my clients arrive, this doesn’t matter.
Two humans in a space, together.
Earth suits carrying stories.
I’ll put all of my minutes into this. ❤️
#ThisIsMS #MultipleSclerosis #ChronicIllness #Disability #spoonie #NutritionTherapy #fitness #fashion #relationship #style #human #help #nourish #BodyStories #bodyimage #TheBodyIsNotADestination
