This is an Inaccessible View
This is an inaccessible view.
My hub found it while he was out on a run. And thought I’d enjoy. So we put on our masks and he pushed me here.
On an old rail trail with gravel and uneven pavement and dirt. With a ceiling of trees. Maple. Ash. Oak. Pine. Leaves with varying shapes and varying degrees of translucency. Some view of the sky. Bright blue. Vines and lichen and life.
I lean my head back, look up and take it all in. Tears roll down my cheeks.
I feel like I can breathe here. Not that I haven’t been breathing, but outside air is different than inside air. And it has been a while since I have been outside like this.
I look down, around the path, and recognize the local ground cover, point out poison ivy and grasses, and low-light flowering plants.
Were there fewer humans out on this day, I would’ve asked my husband to slow down so I might’ve appreciated things more slowly. Taking time to soak in the green. The color. The life. Instead, I weep and keep looking.
And then he pushes me to this grassy opening. A flat space that reminds me of my childhood in South Dakota.
Flat. Open. Sky. And my tears become audible, and my heart is breaking open. THIS. This is what I’ve needed. This.
I push myself into the field. And I bend down to feel the ground covering. I pull at the grasses. I disturb a row of grass seeds. Dropping them on the ground. I notice a grasshopper. Another. If I had the power to do so, I realize in this moment, I would push myself out of my chair and roll around in this grassy space. I don’t. So I don’t.
I stay out here for a while. I remember being young and running through grasses that touched my fingers. I appreciate that, at wheelchair height, I can experience the same thing now.
This day was a gift.
This is why inaccessible views is so important to me. This is why every time I am tagged in a story of outside, I cry.
Because I did not know what a privilege it was to enjoy this earth until it felt out of reach. And I’m not sure whether or not you have seen the collection of inaccessible views. There are over 500 of them now. They’ve been viewed over 10,000 times. This is a gift you give to me, and a gift I am so grateful to share.
