What You Eat is Not Who You Are
This statement literally makes no sense to me: “you are what you eat.” Nope.
You’re not kale or quinoa or pizza or a burger. Your body is psyched to use whatever you give it, macronutrients, vitamins, minerals, water - and does so with ZERO judgment.
The fact is, if you’re privileged enough to eat a variety of foods, to eat foods occasionally cooked at home, I have very few concerns about your nutritional status. You needn’t worry about specific minerals or vitamins if you’re eating a variety of foods. Equally, considering macros is unnecessary if you are eating adequately. It’s unnecessary anyway, because the way people talk about MACROS right now is so irritating and diet culture laden. Carbohydrates, proteins and fats are not new, FYI.
You are not what you eat. You’re more effected nutritionally by how you’re feeling about what you eat, familiarity, comfort level, stress level, than anything else.
So take care of yourself. Eat what you enjoy. And fear not, you’ll never turn into sugar. Although I’m certain you’re very sweet!
*sugar chosen as a representative of anything edible. Just makes the joke work.
Organic Food is a Treatment For Nothing.
I was just talking to a friend who had been experiencing gastrointestinal distress, sought out the help of a professional, and was advised that her symptoms would resolve entirely if she ate organic foods only. (I choked a little bit...) This is not only elitist, but it is utterly foolish.
Organic food is a treatment for nothing.
This public service announcement also applies to dietary recommendations including, but not limited to, juice fasts, kale in everything, cleanses, clean eating as a concept, gluten-free/dairy-free, for no reason, alkalinity, or blood type eating. The stupid list is endless.
Healthcare providers, before we make recommendations about how to take care of other humans, we must have a greater global awareness of their life and lifestyle. A human is NOT noncompliant if they are unable to afford the recommendations you are making for them. They are not non-compliant if they disagree with your recommendations.
And also, the recommendations listed above are not based in GOOD science, at all. That irks me ENDLESSLY.
Food is not actually a treatment for anything. I hate the expression “food is medicine.“ True, we need a variety of nutrients and adequate energy to live our lives fully and healthfully, and food is not medicine. Medicine is medicine. And I hear you, and understand that scurvy is preventable with adequate vitamin C. But even that is not about an organic lemon.
Having a healthy relationship with the food you eat is wayyyy more important than eating the latest and greatest food ‘solution.’
PS: if you are healing from the eating disorder, food certainly is medicine. This post is about my frustration with the idea that specific foods will (but won’t) provide cure all’s...
Also, if food or a change in food has helped you to feel better, I’m delighted for you! Please refrain from commenting about it. This is not at all about shaming you, but protecting folx from confusion and comparison. Thank you!
Restriction is a Disordered Behavior
I’ve been having lots of conversations lately with clients who feel embarrassed about certain parts of their interactions with food, and revere other parts.
To be clear, restriction is a disordered behavior. As are binging, purging, and exercise abuse. There is no such thing as a “good” eating disorder. There are just different symptoms. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness. I take every single symptom seriously. I do not care what your body looks like. I do not care what your BMI is. (Ugh.) I do not care if you are able to hide your behaviors or not.
If you are in a place where you are upset by one part of your eating disorder behaviors, but are apathetic or pleased by another, please know that they are connected. Restriction is a wonderful invitation for binging. This is about survival. This is about persistence of the specie.
Human bodies are incredible.
Please give yourself permission to eat food. Regularly. Your body exists with the sole purpose of taking care of you. Return the favor.
I believe in you.
If you are stuck in a series of shifts between restriction and other behaviors, know that that is your body protecting you. An underfed body is going to seek out food. This is biology. This is factual, not a fault.
For reflection:
1. Why/when/what was going on when restrictive eating or avoidance of certain foods began? Is this helpful in the same way that it first was? Have the rules shapeshifted?
2. Is avoidance of foods based on MY experiences of them? Or someone else’s? Society’s?
3. What might happen if I incorporated these foods? Pros/Cons list time. There can and will be both. That doesn’t need to stop you from challenging this belief. The existence of the pro is probably what keeps you stuck. Use the cons with equal attention.
4. Create a mantra and make a change.
“This is my parent’s rule. Feeding myself differently is my parenting myself. I deserve gentle care.”
“This food is safe. My body knows how to handle foods. All of them.”
“The glorification of restriction is about making me quiet and small. I am here to take up space.”
Body Diversity is Not an Accident
Body diversity is not an accident.
Some bodies are small.
Some bodies are large.
Some bodies hang out somewhere in the middle.
Some bodies are short.
Some bodies are tall.
Some bodies come with large hands or large feet.
Some bodies come with small hands or small feet.
Some bodies enjoy a relative health.
Some bodies experience disease.
Some bodies are nourished.
Some bodies are malnourished.
Some bodies are privileged.
Some bodies are oppressed.
ALL bodies are worthy.
You, today, are worthy. Please don’t buy into the diet culture promise that if you change your body, you will achieve life goodness. The fact is, the majority of people are unable to sustainably change their body. Our bodies’ miraculous biology, their staying power, the part that makes it difficult for sustained change to be maintained, is amazing. It’s life-giving.
If you have spent any time or energy trying to change your body, know that you are welcome here. If you’re currently on a voyage of body change, you are welcome here. If you’re grieving the loss of time dedicated to body change, you are welcome here. Body success, in my book, is about arriving to yourself, your body, on all of the days.
Body size is not a life goal.
You are a million wonderful things. And whether you love it or not, your body represents only a tiny part of that wonder.
Diet Trends Come and Go.
Diet trends come and go.
In the 70s, table sugar was advertised as a pick-me-up for housewives. In the 80s, cabbage soup was all the rage. The ’90s brought in low-fat everything, only to be replaced with low carb everything. And remember when there were ideas about eating like cave people? That was fun. Now it’s keto everything, which is fabulous if you are a child with a seizure disorder, and otherwise, not sustainable or good. Oh and noom. Which is not a diet, but is a diet.
*diets don’t work sustainability, so replacement of them was and always will be, inevitable.
Now, eating is more confusing than ever. The diet-wellness culture suggests that food will save us. That it will cure incurable diseases, prevent viral transmission, will prevent aging, and all of the undesirable things. If only.
Food itself, is neutral.
Our culture makes it far more powerful than it actually is. If you’ve felt that pull, consider yourself a human. And please know there is another way.
The normalization of orthorexia, a very real and culturally normalized eating disorder, is horrifying to me. Preoccupation with perfect eating leads to extremely distressed living.
It is within your rights to eat foods for the sake of their nutrient content. It is also your right to eat food simply because it tastes good. Trendy eating suggests that one of these options is good and the other is bad. I would like to challenge that idea.
Intuitive eating makes room for all foods. As does your body. Fear, anxiety, distress, guilt, and shame are far worse for you physiologically than ANYTHING you’ll EVER eat. Ever.
At this point in my life, I have more of an aversion to trendy food then I have an interest in it. Eat trendy food if you enjoy it. But please do not feel as though you must eat on trend with food to be a healthy human. Or to be a human who is welcome on this planet.
Trend shop elsewhere, maybe? I understand that legging shorts and mom jeans are cool now. Those, were cool when I was a child. I wore the shorts, my mom wore the denim. Neat that we’re going back there?🤦♀️
Something that cannot be trendy?
Black Lives Matter.
Black Lives Matter cannot be a trend.
STAY.
Body Image and Self Love
Are you around on Tuesday night?
8PM EST / 5PM PST?
Join me, @tiffanyima, @missalexlarosa, and @tessholliday when we chat about all things body image and self-love with the fabulous humans @moxxiemade.
This event is FREE interactive forum hosted on Zoom, accepting donations for @thelovelandfoundation - an organization supporting the therapeutic needs of Black women and girls. This is an organization that I support independently, and I’m over the moon that this event will further that support.
Head to @moxxiemade to sign up! Or check out the link in my stories.
Can’t wait to see you there!
xoxo,
a
Your Body Knows How to Handle Food
It is expected that you’ll eat past comfortable fullness if you haven’t eaten enough. If you haven’t eaten in too many hours. If you’ve not been able to meet your energetic need. If you’re avoiding foods that satisfy for the sake of the foods you might feel you ‘should’ eat and enjoy.
This is expected. This is not a moral issue.
And if this happens, know that you won’t always be full.
Wait.
Then eat again.
Especially if you’re not a fan of the uncomfortable fullness that follows not getting enough, regularly incorporated food. Or the less happy digestive process that follows irregular energy intake.
Empty isn’t good. Full isn’t bad.
Your body knows how to handle food.
Body Diversity is Intentional
This is why your instagram #fitspo influencer is not helpful. Moving like they do will not result in you looking like they do. Assuming they look like that, anyway.
This is why #diet culture icons messing with your food choice is not helpful. Dietary salvation is for sale, but it is not interested in anything but creating return customers. You might eat like ‘them,’ but you won’t have their lives or their bodies. And there’s no telling how honest they’re being, anyway.
This is why your #wellness guru is not helpful. Many of the humans peddling solutions are unqualified to do so, (hey @gwynethpaltrow), and worse, use their qualifications to keep you coming back. For the benefit of their wallets. Wellness deities are my least favorite things.
With any and all messages about being in a body, consider the flow of cash. These messages are banking on your vulnerability. And are completely unsound.
Move if you are able. If you want to. In ways that feel good. Eat a variety of food, if that is accessible to you. Eating anything is always better than aiming for perfect food. Not.a.thing. Don’t bother your head with fancy supplements or cleanses or detoxes.
Practice self-care, your way.
You can do all the things, and your body is going to look like your body. That’s not a mistake. That is very much by design.
BODY DIVERSITY IS INTENTIONAL.
Save your time.
Save your sanity.
Save your money.
Read: resilience
I think about this all the time.
I talk with my clients about this all the time.
By virtue of being children, we have fewer resources than we do as adults.
This is not a matter of opinion, but rather a fact.
This is why it is so essential for children to have healthy attachment figures.
This is why it is so important for children to have permission to eat all the food.
This is why it is so important for humans who are raising young humans to address their relationships with food and body and bias as they raise eaters.
AND
If you used food as a coping strategy as a child, that was an act of resilience. Not an act of gluttony. Or some naughty thing. This may well have been a means of survival. Read: resilience.
Because the act of eating leads to the release of neurotransmitters that help us feel good. This is not a matter of opinion. This is one of the reasons that humanity has persisted.
The act of eating leads to dopamine and norepinephrine release. The byproduct of eating certain food leads to serotonin release. These are…
REAL LIFE FEEL GOOD HORMONES.
When nothing feels good, eating does.
Reliably.
Consistently.
On a chemical level.
Thank goodness and gracious.
Many of my clients have experienced being shamed in the context of feeding themselves as young people.
Many of my clients experienced shame in response to their bodies changing related to eating resourcefully. Mostly projected on them by early attachment figures and medical professionals.
And it doesn’t matter if this body shame happened ten years ago, or thirty or fifty.
I know these memories stick around. And I’m sorry.
Your body was never a problem. Not then, and not now. You were resourceful and brave and I am so grateful that you persisted today.
How would your relationship with food change if you viewed it as a means of being resourceful?
How might you feel about your younger self if you reframed your eating patterns in the context of resourcefulness?