Social Media Should Feel Good
There are a few things that make me uneasy on social media.
In this moment, photos of unmasked groups of humans. Make. Me. So. Anxious. And also frustrated.
Side-by-side photos.
Of humans.
Of food.
Anything, really. Unless it’s a kid or a pet. Those can stay.
Accounts that feature, predominantly privileged, ‘aesthetically pleasing’ bodies as the bulk of their content.
Humans suggesting that they have the answer for whatever I/we might be experiencing in any moment.
Encouraging us to send them a DM for all the answers.
Accounts that talk about calories or calorie recommendations in specific terms. Your energy needs are different from everyone else on this planet. A stranger, particularly a stranger on the Internet, making caloric recommendations? Nope.
Accounts that aren’t still discussing BLM. Or systemic oppression. Or how they’re learning & recognizing how whitewashed everything is. This is not to say that the reason I started or run my page is about this cause. But neglecting to use my platform for social justice is negligent. And so in conjunction with the eating disorder, body image, disability, and anti-diet content I’ve always shared, I’m bringing you with me for Black Lives Matter. Because they do. I’m bringing you with me for wear a damn mask. Because COVID is still here.
If an account makes you feel uneasy, uncomfortable, or anything less than good, please Unfollow. This is your right and this is your superpower. To the best of your ability, control the content that you experience.
Strong recommend that you go through your explore page, click on anything that makes you uncomfortable, and let Instagram know that you don’t want to see it anymore.
Take it one step further, and report it as hate speech or instigating eating disorders or risky behaviors or whatever applies.
I don’t really use the explore feature, but have adjusted it so that I am seeing content that I want to see. Bodies & body stories that I don’t have first-hand experience with. Posts that teach me things, that leave me curious, challenged, & sometimes uncomfortable. The latter is often the most important.
Unfollowing is a superpower.
Happy & safe social media for all.
You are Worthy
The opportunity to engage in health-promoting action is a privilege not afforded to many of us.
It’s also not a golden ticket to health.
Healthy? You’re worthy.
Not healthy? You’re worthy.
Working to improve your health? Worthy.
Not aiming to improve your health? Worthy.
Wherever you fall on the very relative health scale, you are worthy.
Of love.
Of respect.
Of rest and resting.
Of quality health care.
Of opportunity not related to health status.
Of being listened to. And heard.
Just for existing? Worthy.
What You Eat is Not Who You Are
This statement literally makes no sense to me: “you are what you eat.” Nope.
You’re not kale or quinoa or pizza or a burger. Your body is psyched to use whatever you give it, macronutrients, vitamins, minerals, water - and does so with ZERO judgment.
The fact is, if you’re privileged enough to eat a variety of foods, to eat foods occasionally cooked at home, I have very few concerns about your nutritional status. You needn’t worry about specific minerals or vitamins if you’re eating a variety of foods. Equally, considering macros is unnecessary if you are eating adequately. It’s unnecessary anyway, because the way people talk about MACROS right now is so irritating and diet culture laden. Carbohydrates, proteins and fats are not new, FYI.
You are not what you eat. You’re more effected nutritionally by how you’re feeling about what you eat, familiarity, comfort level, stress level, than anything else.
So take care of yourself. Eat what you enjoy. And fear not, you’ll never turn into sugar. Although I’m certain you’re very sweet!
*sugar chosen as a representative of anything edible. Just makes the joke work.
Organic Food is a Treatment For Nothing.
I was just talking to a friend who had been experiencing gastrointestinal distress, sought out the help of a professional, and was advised that her symptoms would resolve entirely if she ate organic foods only. (I choked a little bit...) This is not only elitist, but it is utterly foolish.
Organic food is a treatment for nothing.
This public service announcement also applies to dietary recommendations including, but not limited to, juice fasts, kale in everything, cleanses, clean eating as a concept, gluten-free/dairy-free, for no reason, alkalinity, or blood type eating. The stupid list is endless.
Healthcare providers, before we make recommendations about how to take care of other humans, we must have a greater global awareness of their life and lifestyle. A human is NOT noncompliant if they are unable to afford the recommendations you are making for them. They are not non-compliant if they disagree with your recommendations.
And also, the recommendations listed above are not based in GOOD science, at all. That irks me ENDLESSLY.
Food is not actually a treatment for anything. I hate the expression “food is medicine.“ True, we need a variety of nutrients and adequate energy to live our lives fully and healthfully, and food is not medicine. Medicine is medicine. And I hear you, and understand that scurvy is preventable with adequate vitamin C. But even that is not about an organic lemon.
Having a healthy relationship with the food you eat is wayyyy more important than eating the latest and greatest food ‘solution.’
PS: if you are healing from the eating disorder, food certainly is medicine. This post is about my frustration with the idea that specific foods will (but won’t) provide cure all’s...
Also, if food or a change in food has helped you to feel better, I’m delighted for you! Please refrain from commenting about it. This is not at all about shaming you, but protecting folx from confusion and comparison. Thank you!
Restriction is a Disordered Behavior
I’ve been having lots of conversations lately with clients who feel embarrassed about certain parts of their interactions with food, and revere other parts.
To be clear, restriction is a disordered behavior. As are binging, purging, and exercise abuse. There is no such thing as a “good” eating disorder. There are just different symptoms. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness. I take every single symptom seriously. I do not care what your body looks like. I do not care what your BMI is. (Ugh.) I do not care if you are able to hide your behaviors or not.
If you are in a place where you are upset by one part of your eating disorder behaviors, but are apathetic or pleased by another, please know that they are connected. Restriction is a wonderful invitation for binging. This is about survival. This is about persistence of the specie.
Human bodies are incredible.
Please give yourself permission to eat food. Regularly. Your body exists with the sole purpose of taking care of you. Return the favor.
I believe in you.
If you are stuck in a series of shifts between restriction and other behaviors, know that that is your body protecting you. An underfed body is going to seek out food. This is biology. This is factual, not a fault.
For reflection:
1. Why/when/what was going on when restrictive eating or avoidance of certain foods began? Is this helpful in the same way that it first was? Have the rules shapeshifted?
2. Is avoidance of foods based on MY experiences of them? Or someone else’s? Society’s?
3. What might happen if I incorporated these foods? Pros/Cons list time. There can and will be both. That doesn’t need to stop you from challenging this belief. The existence of the pro is probably what keeps you stuck. Use the cons with equal attention.
4. Create a mantra and make a change.
“This is my parent’s rule. Feeding myself differently is my parenting myself. I deserve gentle care.”
“This food is safe. My body knows how to handle foods. All of them.”
“The glorification of restriction is about making me quiet and small. I am here to take up space.”
Diet Trends Come and Go.
Diet trends come and go.
In the 70s, table sugar was advertised as a pick-me-up for housewives. In the 80s, cabbage soup was all the rage. The ’90s brought in low-fat everything, only to be replaced with low carb everything. And remember when there were ideas about eating like cave people? That was fun. Now it’s keto everything, which is fabulous if you are a child with a seizure disorder, and otherwise, not sustainable or good. Oh and noom. Which is not a diet, but is a diet.
*diets don’t work sustainability, so replacement of them was and always will be, inevitable.
Now, eating is more confusing than ever. The diet-wellness culture suggests that food will save us. That it will cure incurable diseases, prevent viral transmission, will prevent aging, and all of the undesirable things. If only.
Food itself, is neutral.
Our culture makes it far more powerful than it actually is. If you’ve felt that pull, consider yourself a human. And please know there is another way.
The normalization of orthorexia, a very real and culturally normalized eating disorder, is horrifying to me. Preoccupation with perfect eating leads to extremely distressed living.
It is within your rights to eat foods for the sake of their nutrient content. It is also your right to eat food simply because it tastes good. Trendy eating suggests that one of these options is good and the other is bad. I would like to challenge that idea.
Intuitive eating makes room for all foods. As does your body. Fear, anxiety, distress, guilt, and shame are far worse for you physiologically than ANYTHING you’ll EVER eat. Ever.
At this point in my life, I have more of an aversion to trendy food then I have an interest in it. Eat trendy food if you enjoy it. But please do not feel as though you must eat on trend with food to be a healthy human. Or to be a human who is welcome on this planet.
Trend shop elsewhere, maybe? I understand that legging shorts and mom jeans are cool now. Those, were cool when I was a child. I wore the shorts, my mom wore the denim. Neat that we’re going back there?🤦♀️
Something that cannot be trendy?
Black Lives Matter.
Black Lives Matter cannot be a trend.
STAY.
Body Image and Self Love
Are you around on Tuesday night?
8PM EST / 5PM PST?
Join me, @tiffanyima, @missalexlarosa, and @tessholliday when we chat about all things body image and self-love with the fabulous humans @moxxiemade.
This event is FREE interactive forum hosted on Zoom, accepting donations for @thelovelandfoundation - an organization supporting the therapeutic needs of Black women and girls. This is an organization that I support independently, and I’m over the moon that this event will further that support.
Head to @moxxiemade to sign up! Or check out the link in my stories.
Can’t wait to see you there!
xoxo,
a
Your Body Knows How to Handle Food
It is expected that you’ll eat past comfortable fullness if you haven’t eaten enough. If you haven’t eaten in too many hours. If you’ve not been able to meet your energetic need. If you’re avoiding foods that satisfy for the sake of the foods you might feel you ‘should’ eat and enjoy.
This is expected. This is not a moral issue.
And if this happens, know that you won’t always be full.
Wait.
Then eat again.
Especially if you’re not a fan of the uncomfortable fullness that follows not getting enough, regularly incorporated food. Or the less happy digestive process that follows irregular energy intake.
Empty isn’t good. Full isn’t bad.
Your body knows how to handle food.
Respect Your Earthsuit
SWIPE THROUGH
Perhaps your body experience is like that of so many others.
Always wishing for the updated version, & often wishing that the updated version was a past version of you. I hear this all the time. From folks who look at photographs of their younger selves, adoringly. Wondering why they didn’t see what they can see so clearly, now. From folks who went through normal developmental stages & were made to feel shame for the ways their bodies completed these processes.
Perhaps the humans who raised you, the people who witnessed your development & aging, never normalized the process. Perhaps they never spoke about their own experiences, or, made you feel as though you & your body we’re going through a stage incorrectly.
Perhaps you are substantially influenced by what you see reflected in the media. And you remain perplexed because you never see you.
You take that on as though it is a YOU problem.
How many of us have spent time wishing for our younger bodies? Elevating them in our minds as though if we could re-experience life in them, we would do it so very differently. I appreciate the human call for a do-over.
Because that is not how life or bodies work, I wonder what it might be like to look at your body, right now, today, & welcome it, in whatever stage it is in.
Your body is good. It is resilient, it has been shaped by your experiences, it has brought you to today. I am grateful for your body. Because that Earthsuit? That’s your carrying case.
That is what brought you here, today, to read this. I have endless respect for you & your Earthsuit.
Writing prompts:
1. What are the factors that influenced the way I experienced my body as it went through life stages? If I could do it again, what would I like more of? Less of?
2. What would it be like to practice accepting the body I live in today? Not loving it or hating it, but accepting it in the same way that we accept gravity as the reason that we are not floating.
3. How might my experience of being in this body change if I were to have compassion for its history, and curiosity about its future?
4. Make a list of five things that make your body uniquely yours.
Exhaustion is Not a Badge of Honor
Zero points awarded for being the first person to hit the wall.
The fatigue that we are feeling right now is a new and very different kind of fatigue. The new normal that is happening around us is exhausting. And because we don’t know when this new normal is going to shift, we need to stay for the long-haul.
Please rest.