This is an Inaccessible View
This is an inaccessible view.
My hub found it while he was out on a run. And thought I’d enjoy. So we put on our masks and he pushed me here.
On an old rail trail with gravel and uneven pavement and dirt. With a ceiling of trees. Maple. Ash. Oak. Pine. Leaves with varying shapes and varying degrees of translucency. Some view of the sky. Bright blue. Vines and lichen and life.
I lean my head back, look up and take it all in. Tears roll down my cheeks.
I feel like I can breathe here. Not that I haven’t been breathing, but outside air is different than inside air. And it has been a while since I have been outside like this.
I look down, around the path, and recognize the local ground cover, point out poison ivy and grasses, and low-light flowering plants.
Were there fewer humans out on this day, I would’ve asked my husband to slow down so I might’ve appreciated things more slowly. Taking time to soak in the green. The color. The life. Instead, I weep and keep looking.
And then he pushes me to this grassy opening. A flat space that reminds me of my childhood in South Dakota.
Flat. Open. Sky. And my tears become audible, and my heart is breaking open. THIS. This is what I’ve needed. This.
I push myself into the field. And I bend down to feel the ground covering. I pull at the grasses. I disturb a row of grass seeds. Dropping them on the ground. I notice a grasshopper. Another. If I had the power to do so, I realize in this moment, I would push myself out of my chair and roll around in this grassy space. I don’t. So I don’t.
I stay out here for a while. I remember being young and running through grasses that touched my fingers. I appreciate that, at wheelchair height, I can experience the same thing now.
This day was a gift.
This is why inaccessible views is so important to me. This is why every time I am tagged in a story of outside, I cry.
Because I did not know what a privilege it was to enjoy this earth until it felt out of reach. And I’m not sure whether or not you have seen the collection of inaccessible views. There are over 500 of them now. They’ve been viewed over 10,000 times. This is a gift you give to me, and a gift I am so grateful to share.
I'm Proud of You
All that work you’re putting into healing your relationship with food and body?
That work is necessary if you are going to show up in service of social justice, that work is necessary if you are going to be a part of social change, that work is necessary for you to remain engaged in efforts for altering our future.
You are living through a pandemic.
You are living through a revolution.
You are a part of history right now.
Please keep fighting your fight, because all of us are needed to win the fight for tangible social change. And that is a fight that can never, ever end.
I’m really proud of you.
Eat Real Food
My definition of real food: all foods, any foods, that are on adulterated by diet culture. Period.
This means that a carrot and a Cheeto get the same amount of my energy. (And no, I am not saying that they are the same thing, nutritionally speaking.) That quinoa and kale might be delightful to you, and they might not, and either way, what you eat is not a reflection of you or your value or your goodness.
If you want to slice of bread, have a slice of real bread. If you want yogurt, skip the diet section. That new trendy food? Eat it if you enjoy it, but don’t feel like you need to. Food does not need to be a team sport. You don’t need to be a member of a club to eat a thing, and just because you choose to eat a thing, does not make you a member of a club, anyway. (I’m definitely on team #butterlove). Real food can represent any food. It’s the relationship we have to it that matters. If you’re in a space where you can’t consider eating non-diet foods, get curious about what would happen if you challenge that idea for a moment.
Diet foods stink. You deserve better and your body can handle better, too.
EAT REAL FOOD.
Your Hunger is Valid
If you have the privilege of having access to adequate food, I invite you to explore what it might feel like to listen to your body when it suggests that it needs more food.
What you eat in a day, or in a moment, or at a meal, will be different from what the humans around you may be eating.
This is expected.
This is normal.
What you need to eat is always going to be different from what your fellow eaters require or choose to consume. This is okay. This is normal. Suggesting otherwise is like suggesting that all humans need the same amount of rest to feel rested, or the same amount of socializing to feel connected.
Your hunger is valid.
Your appetite is valid.
If you eat, and you’re still hungry, please grant yourself permission to eat more.
Disability Pride
Disability pride.
A concept that I fully embrace today, and struggled with initially. Because ableism. Because I wanted to stand out for other reasons. Because I felt that I couldn’t have or be both disabled and an exceptional professional, citizen, human in relationship. (Wrong and ableist AF) Because I was grieving and my reason for grief was confirmed by the humans around me.
When I first took my disabled body into the world, with peers, humans who I respected and who respected me back, I experienced invisibility. I used a scooter to navigate a large hotel and conference center. I told people to look for me in a scooter. And many of those humans looked past me.
For the sake of not looking at that which is different. That which is other. And I appreciate that it was coming from a place of being polite, because before I became a disabled person, I did the same thing. I didn’t look, because “I didn’t want to stare.“ But what I did not realize, until experiencing it myself, was that when I chose not to look, I was rendering a human invisible. Not, not staring.
Disability lesson number one:
Not looking at a person with a disability is not the polite thing. You are not being kind by rendering a human invisible. That is a YOU thing, not a disabled person thing.
I offer this lesson because it was never taught to me.
Thank you for reading.
More to follow.
Weekend Reminders
Have a great weekend, friends!
Wear a mask. Practice social distancing. Independence is a privilege not afforded to all, demonstrate yours without putting others at risk.
This pandemic is not over.
Have a conversation about Juneteenth. About white privilege, anti-racism, and Black Lives Matter. Share about where and what you’re learning.
Remember that all foods fit and that your body is on your side.
Big love,
a🤍
Making Peace with Food
This is one of the multitudes of ways that intuitive eating is misinterpreted.
If a food has held energy, it is possible to interact with said food with reduced energy, but that does not mean that it will no longer be enjoyed or a part of your life.
Messaging that suggests that you will “forget about/skip/no longer crave,” a food after you have given yourself permission to eat it, is false.
And is another version of diet culture pandering. You’re allowed to have a peaceful relationship with a food that has not always been peaceful.
The belief that you should no longer desire a food, isn’t real life.
>> if you’ve been made to think that a desired food won’t be desired after you eat it freely, your teacher missed the boat.
>> does this resonate with anyone?
Health is Not an Equal Opportunity Experience
Health is not an equal opportunity experience.
It is impacted by a multitude of factors. That are largely outside of most humans control. This is not about not working hard enough. This is not about modifying priorities. This is not about pulling oneself up by their bootstraps. This is not about love and light and best wishes.
Health is not simply about what someone eats or doesn’t eat. Or simply about how someone moves or doesn’t move. Or how committed someone is to engaging in ‘health promotion practices.’
Now, more than ever, we should be appreciating health as a community experience.
Stop. Please read that again.
There is a reason why the rates of COVID-19 are disproportionately elevated in communities that have been oppressed for centuries.
There is a reason that weight stigma impacts care provided to humans who live in larger bodies. Reliance on BMI, (an explicitly racist tool used implicitly to communicate these ideals, as a norm) weight bias in healthcare and the belief that weight, not the multitude of determinants of health that have nothing to with body size, make this largely unchallenged practice seem okay.
It’s not.
There is a reason that racism in healthcare impacts care provided to humans who live in Black and Brown bodies. Oppression of Black and Brown bodies is older than the existence of the United States. And has been perpetuated here since the beginning of the beginning.
Health is not a thing that I’ve been able to fully appreciate for nearly 20 years. And I’ve benefited from having access, privilege, at every stage of my life. I’ll never be healthy. I do have the opportunity to maximize what health I do have.
I hope you are healthy and well. And if you’re not, I see you. And if health promotion is not a thing you value, I see you. And if you’d do anything for health, but can’t access it, I see you.
You owe your health to no one.
And I wish you peace and respect and wellbeing.
>> what would you add to this definition of health?
>> fellow practitioners, are you asking questions about health as a value? Are you examining barriers to health on behalf of your clients?
Read: Fearing the Black Body
Your Body Has Your Back
Your relationship with food is more important than anything you’ll eat.
Ever.
If you’re limiting access to a type of food, you’re giving that food power that something intended to nourish shouldn’t have. Binge invitation, anyone?
If you’re giving yourself permission to eat nutritious food, but not delicious food, (not to suggest that they are mutually exclusive) you’re missing out on a happy and health-promoting part of eating. Obsessing about eating food for pleasure zaps any goodness that food had to offer. No, thanks.
If you have the privilege of having access to food, food matters a heck of a lot less than diet culture wants you to believe.
Kale won’t save you from anything, even if diet culture gives it a superhero cape. As an aside, I almost feel badly for kale because it has existed for centuries, and is now the brunt of many diet/wellness culture jokes. Not badly enough to stop making them, but that poor old veg.
Your body is designed to handle food.
Lots of it.
It’s okay to listen to and honor your appetites. Doing so allows you to move on. Doing so reduces food preoccupation. Doing so puts food in its place as only ONE component of what makes up health.
Your body has your back.
Eat.
Food you enjoy.
Regularly.
Forever.
Healing can’t happen on an empty stomach and it can’t happen when hyper-vigilance around food is the name of the game.
Healing happens.
Recovery happens.
Focus on relationship to food, not specifics of what you eat.
Just Say No To.....
Wellness culture costs far more than it is worth.
Monetarily.
Emotionally.
Spiritually.
Physically.
You are in charge of how you interact with it, too.
Just say NO to ⬇️
unsatisfying food
culturally uninformed food
food consumed with the hope of it doing a thing. food is awesome if you have enough of it. but it’s not magical
unfulfilling movement
other people’s ideas of ‘health’
fighting against our brilliant bodies
engaging in body bashing convos
any and all SHOULDS
the idea that a body need be changed to fit into a season
detoxes, cleanses & anything that costs money but do NOTHING but cost money
What else would you add here?! It’s June, friends. It’s getting hot. 🔥
Let’s get fired up about tending to ourselves.
Can’t think of a better thing to smolder about.