Be Gentle
No matter what or how much you ate.
No matter what or how much you drank.
No matter if you sat all day long.
No matter what diet culture will line the shelves and flood your inbox and invade your eardrums tomorrow.
Nourish yourself as you would nourish a human that you adore. Practice the self-care that you’d wish for a human you love.
Be gentle.
Be gentle.
Be gentle.
Put it Down
Almost every session that I have had over the last two weeks has in one way or another, touched on concern about the opinion of other humans, with regard to food and body experiences.
That’s not to say that concern about body talk is unique.
That’s not to say that concern about food talk is unique.
But this intensity is real. And if you’re feeling it too, know that you’re not alone.
I’m sorry if you are made to sit through uncomfortable conversations, and know that you can come out on the other side.
I’m sorry if you are made to feel bad for taking up space. It’s yours.
I’m sorry if you are made question the food choices that you make over the next few days. Those are for you. Alone.
I’m sorry if you are made to defend your body over the next few days. It’s yours and you belong here.
People who make comments about the bodies or food choices of other humans have their own food and body stories.
I feel very confident about this statement, and do not believe that there are exceptions to it.
You don’t need to carry other people’s fatphobia, weight stigma, dieting trope, or food stories.
PUT. IT. DOWN.
The Worst Holiday Decoration
Diet talk. Body talk. Unhappy food talk.
THE WORST HOLIDAY DECORATION.
Your values.
Your autonomy.
Your opinions.
Your truth.
Your power.
Those will persist through and after the season.
You're Worthy of Boundaries
They might have told you stories about the right way to be in a body.
They might have told you that you were doing it wrong.
They might have asked you to work against your body.
They might not have seen your struggle. Or known what to do with it.
And they might have seen it. And encouraged you to keep going.
You may have made the hard choice to set limits on contact with these humans. You may have set boundaries to protect yourself. You may see them rarely as a means of self-preservation. You may recognize that their messaging was never about you, but rather, a reflection of their experience. You might not feel convicted of that yet.
And maybe you’ll see them this week.
They might want to talk about food and bodies and diets and socially encouraged disordered eating patterns. They might ask about why you’re eating what you’re eating. They might repeat patterns that you’ve tried to disrupt. They might behave in ways that reaffirm your need for boundaries and separation and space.
You’re worthy of your boundaries. And you can uphold them even when you are temporarily sidestepping them because the holiday season demands it.
Hold fast, dear ones.
Sanity proof your season
You don’t have to skip your favorite food.
You don’t have to exercise after you eat.
You don’t need to engage in body bashing.
You don’t need to shrink.
You don’t need to excuse your appetite.
You don’t need to agree with diet talk.
You don’t need to make up for eating special food.
You don’t need to repeat old patterns.
You don’t need to say yes.
You don’t need to allow your body to be a point of discussion.
You don’t need to abide by diet rules.
You don’t need to abide by eating disorder rules.
You don’t need to be happy.
You don’t need to be okay.
You need to get through this season.
You’re important. You matter. You can.
Sending love and warm wishes.
Forget Diet Culture
If you see a food marketed with an exercise to nullify it, eat the food, but FORGET THE DIET CULTURE EARN IT AND BURN IT, BULLSHIT.
Science is so cool.
This is not science.
It is also not cool.
you. are. so. impressive.
I see you doing this life thing.
It’s incredible. You’re incredible.
If you’re doing the harder thing, I see you.
If you’re keeping your head up while the world is pushing down, I see you.
If you’re terrified and doing it anyway, I see you.
If you’re trying something new, I see you.
If you’re playing it safe, I see you.
If you’re protecting yourself, and that feels challenging, I see you.
If you’re challenging patterns that don’t serve you, I see you.
If you are speaking kindly to your body, despite feeling uncomfortable in it, I see you.
If you’re giving yourself permission to do less today, this week, this month, I see you.
If you are asking for help, I see you.
If you are anxious as can be and doing it anyway, I see you.
If all you do today is arrive, I see you.
My mantra for doing the impossible:
I see you. I’m looking.
I hear you. I’m listening.
I care for you. I’m learning.
And sometimes:
Be Gentle. Be Curious. Be Kind.
Be Gentle. Be Curious. Be Kind.
Be Gentle. Be Curious. Be Kind.
It is my pleasure and joy to witness you doing that which feels impossible.
You are so impressive.
You Are Enough
We are in the midst of it now, lovies!
DIET CULTURE HAS MOVED MORE AGGRESSIVELY IN. (rude)
.
And it’s sneaky because diets don’t sell anymore - hey, @ww name change, same game - but wellness, and fake health promotion, cleanses for functional organ systems, unsustainable exercise rampages, and seasonal promises of happiness sure do.
BUT IT IS THE SAME NOISE.
And if this time of year is hard for you, I hear you. And if you are feeling stressed, know that you are not alone. And if you are feeling anxious about getting the perfect gift or having the perfect outfit or eating the “right foods,“ or managing this season perfectly, know that perfect isn’t real.
If you feel like you’re only just holding your head above water trying to get everything done on your list, or if this season is altogether challenging for you, take a deep breath.
Your head is above water.
You can breathe.
Swipe for alternative options to get through the next two weeks.
VIABLE OPTIONS THAT ARE NOT CONTINGENT UPON YOU CHANGING A THING ABOUT YOURSELF OR YOUR BODY.
You. Are. Enough. Right. Now.
If you’re happy for the season and are simultaneously ready for it to be over!!
Keep Your Money
I’m starting to like/hate my diet culture holiday season song: fa$la$la$la$la$la$la$la$laaaa
Your body is not a problem.
Your body is not a problem.
Your body is not a problem.
Questioning the validity of this statement? Follow the money.
New Year gym membership: $40
New Year detox: $100
New Year diet: (that has been repeated, every year for decades? Or that you’re considering for the first time?) $50-$5,000 or more
New Year elimination/replacement of a food with something ‘clean:’ add $20+ to your grocery cost
New Year, New You ‘wellness’ plan by Goop or some other nonsense program: an insultingly large amount of $$$
Resisting diet culture pressure, not paying into the system
Practicing body acceptance
Advocating for weight inclusive care
HAES® informed eating disorder support
Celebration of body diversity
Recognition of health as a privilege
Working to identify and reduce disparity
Asking less of oppressed humans
PRICELESS
If something is being sold with the promise of peace, love, and joy, on the heels of body change, keep your money.
Your body is not a problem.
That concept is what makes the $70B diet culture world go round...☮
Judgment Tastes Terrible
I hear about this experience from clients regularly. Attempting to eat “healthy” food - whatever that means - and ultimately eating the item that comes with fewer food judgments, then eating another food that may be judged a bit more, and then another and another with progressive judgment as eating continues.
The aforementioned situation is not a reflection of personal missteps. This is part of why seeking satisfaction is so important AND is why food judgment stinks.
If you’re choosing a food for the sake of health-promoting or reduced judgment qualities, pause before proceeding.
Ask these questions:
1. Have you thoughtfully fed yourself today? Meals, snacks? Variety?
(If no, you’re vulnerable)
2. Have you enjoyed eating today?
(If no, you’re vulnerable)
3. If you eat this “healthy” food, will you be satisfied with that choice?
(if no, you’re vulnerable)
4. If you’re not satisfied, are you giving yourself permission to eat something else?
(if no, you’re vulnerable)
5. If you were to drop the “health” assessment of the food, would you choose to eat it?
(if no, you’re vulnerable)
6. Is there something that you can choose to eat that is accessible and would be more satisfying?
(start there ↑)
Your body has no judgment about food.
Carrots & hummus (carb, fat, protein, fiber) = walnut brownie (carb, fat, protein, fiber)
I’m NOT saying that a brownie is the same thing as carrots, but your body doesn’t care where macronutrients come from. Your cells don’t care.
At. All.
If you have judgment about food, I’d imagine this feels uncomfortable. If you have judgment about food, it might feel better to eat carrots, but if you end up eating brownies anyway, your belly and brain might have preferred the brownie at the start.
THIS CONCEPT MOST CERTAINLY APPLIES TO SEASONAL, CELEBRATORY, FOOD AND EATING.
You’re allowed to eat.
Judgment tastes terrible.